OMAKES
by Angie4
Summary: A collection of my OMAKES. Will be updated when my quirky humour comes up with more o' 'em. Enjoy and review please! New chapter added!
1. Alucard's XXXMas Carols

**OMAKE:**

**'Alucard's XXX-Mas Carols'**

Walter con Dolneaz, the ever faithful butler/retired Angel of Death of the HELLSING Institute, was busily servicing a semi-automatic firearm in his workshop (his 37th for the night!) when the emergency HELLSING P.A. system cackled into life. The deep voice belonging to the HELLSING's _numero uno nuisance of an Undead 'pet' __aka Alucard was heard overhead._

_"-eh hmmn, let's see, is this thing on? Ooh: it is!! Wonderful, heh heh heh…"_

The sound of an intake of breath followed. Then in a horribly off-key pitch that left no doubt that the crimson clad 'No Life King Prankster' was tone deaf, he began to sing his perverse version of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'.

_"On the 12th day of Christmas my Integra gave to me;_

_Twelve black bikinis,_

_Eleven negligees,_

_Ten naked photos,_

_Nine silky undies,_

_Eight satin bloomers,_

_Seven sexy garments,_

_Six push-up bras,_

_Five red g-striiiiiiiings!!_

_Four lingeries,_

_Three bullet wounds,_

_Two laundered panties_

_And a HELLSING raunchy stripteeeeeeease!!!_

_Heh heh heh, YEAH BABY YEAH!!! WHOOO!!"_

While the vampyre hooted with insane laughter (which sounded quite spine-tingling when being blared from the P.A. system), Walter recovered from his shock and dashed out of his workshop, making his way to the P.A. communications room to stop the bad cad of a totally mad vampyre. Obviously the whole Manor must have heard the unorthodox transmission, for the retired 'Bishi Gami', er, your pardon, '_Shini Gami' found himself barking at immobilised HELLSING personnel blocking his way to __"…stop that laughin' yeh great big stupid prats!! And get the fook off the floor an' outta the way!!"_

Alucard must have believed that he was good enough for another round of 'Karaoke Christmas Carols', for when Walter reached the landing of the second floor (the P.A. room was on the third), the vampyre began his rendition of 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus'. Here's an extract:

_"…she didn't see me creep,_

_From the wall to have a peep,_

_She thought that I was tucked up in my coffin fast asleep!!_

_Then I saw her slip on a negligee,_

_Oh -DAMN!- what a sight she was undressed!!_

_Such a shock it would've been,_

_If Walter had only seen,_

_Integra undressed in front of him!!!!_

_HEH HEH HEH: WHOO!! THANK YOU!!_

_YOU'RE A GREAT AUDIENCE!! THANK YOOOOOOU!!"_

Walter was now turning into charming shade of red, similar to a variety of tomatoes from your local supermarket; his face was torn between amusement and mortification. Before he planted a foot on the flight of stairs leading to the third floor, the aged steward was violently pushed from behind into the wall by a force beyond all reckoning; the force, being of course, a very, VERY miffed Integra Fairbrooks Wingates Hellsing. She raced up the stairs three at a time, waving her pistol above her platinum blonde head like a deranged psychopath to match Alucard, screaming a 'Hellsing War Cry' as well as industrial quality obscenities and malicious death-threats from her pert mouth at her (soon-to-be put down) 'pet'.

The poor old butler was left in a sorry heap on the second floor landing after colliding with the wall, staring up at the ceiling, wondering _why, in the name of all things sane and rational, he __hadn't accepted his retirement package the year before._

While Walter was pondering his regretful action, Alucard continued with another corrupted Christmas carol, this time 'Jingle Bells'.

_"What the hell?!___

_Integra Hell-_

_Sing is in a dress!!_

_Oh my God, what a shock:_

_She's showing off her legs…"_

At this point the sound of wood splintering was heard over the speakers as well as hysterical screeching, interrupting Alucard's bawdy performance. He managed to speak over his incredibly distressed Master (THAT'S an understatement!!).

_"OH! Master! Such a delightful surprise, but must you announce yourself like that? Heh heh heh, that's the second door you've broken in one week-***BANG*-**__GAHH!! Master I must protest, if you wanted to join in-***BANG BANG*- **__WOAH!! Really now!! All you had to do was grab the radio mouthpiece and sing! No need for this random sh-***BANG BANG BANG BANG*-**__"_

After sounds of a struggle, uncensored swearing (from Integra), throaty chuckles/vehement protests (from Alucard) and more gunshots, the brazen broadcast was cut off in a fizzle of static; it seemed that either one must've damaged the P.A. system, though most probably it was peppered by a wayward blast from Integra's pistol. The sound of thumping footsteps was heard coming down the stairs, so Walter hastily picked himself up and returned to his duties; he didn't want to be around an incensed Integra on the warpath, much less so when she was armed.

The following night Alucard was to be seen around the Manor in high spirits, grinning madly while constantly humming Christmas carols, seemingly none the worse for wear despite the fracas of last night. However everyone noted that his normally confident gait was replaced with a curious hobble…

**Author's Drivel:**

Okay, the reason why I have done this compilation is because the OMAKES are running my life. Honestly, I'm not getting any work done with my chapter fics 'cos of these!$@#%*&% OMAKES incessantly pop into my head! So please, take 'em, read 'em and enjoy 'em, ANYTHING, but just KEEP them away from my creative processes!! Rest assured that I will be continuing with _'Walter's Gotten His Groove Back' and __'HELLSING: Bloodlines'._

Oh and this OMAKE is twice as long as an average OMAKE; that's because I had so much fun coming up with Alucard's lyrics for the carols. It was inspired by my mother and her #!%$#@ non-stop 'Christmas Karaoke CD'. Blame her for your sore belly muscles. Heh heh heh, Merry Christmas everyone!!

Angie

21/12/02


	2. Night Encounters With The Undead Kind

**OMAKE:**

**'Night Encounters With the Undead Kind…'**

A dead tired Integra stumbles to bed (it's 3:45 am!), only to find that some one is already in it. A sleeping, hat/sunglasses/overcoat and bootless Alcuard is sprawled on her king sized bed diagonally because of his height: if he slept like a normal human, his long legs would stick out over the mattress by several centimeters. Integra, too tired to scream at him to wake up and question his choice of resting spot and more importantly eject the unwelcomed 'bed crasher', uses her last remaining strength to roll Alucard over the edge of her bed. And she collapses on her bed fully clothed, falling asleep to the lovely and satisfying sound of the vampyre's body hitting the floor and his surprised grunt. Few moments later Integra's awakened when she feels Alucard slip beside her on the bed, his back to her. Her anger gave her enough strength to raise herself and slapped his arm to wake him up. Before she could (this time) scream at him to go away, he mumbles:

"That was mean Master. I was sleeping."

"I DON'T CARE!! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!!"

"It's Celes; I can't stand being around her constant whining!"

"Hmph, serves you right for offering immortality to those who are unsuited to it. But that doesn't answer my question of WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING ON MY BED?!"

He rolled over and got up on a sitting position to face her.

"BECAUSE I'M NOT GETTING ANY REST IN MY CHAMBERS DURING THE DAY SINCE HER SNORING IS ATROCIOUS, AND I AM SURE AS HELL NOT BUNKING WITH WALTER!!! Now will you stop the questions so we both can get some sleep?!"

Alucard and Integra glared at each other, then simultaneously turning their backs to the other and settled on opposite sides of the bed. Quite a sight these two made right now considering that they looked, sounded and acted like a normal couple after bickering in bed before lights out.

"Master I warn you, if_ you _start_ snoring…_"

"Shut _up_ Alucard and consider your self fortuna--AAAHHGHH!! ALUCARD! YOUR FEET ARE FREEZING! GET AWAY FROM MY SIDE OF THE BED!!"

"FINE!! BUT YOU'D BETTER QUIT HOGGING THE SHEETS!!"

Later, after sounds of bodies shifting and tossing, and after several muttered curse words, there was a tense silence…

 "How about a kiss goodnight, Master Integra?"

***ka-chik***

"Heh heh heh, I guess that's a _no_ then…"

As we leave the two here, let's hope that neither get any sleep and find a more _productive_ way of spending the night together…


	3. Royal Protestant Kinght's Petshow: Integ...

**OMAKE:**

**'Royal Protestant Knight's Pet Show: Integra's Version'**

"And the winner of the Royal Protestant Knight's Pet Show for 2002 is…Ms. Integra Wingates Hellsing and her psychotic vampyre Alucard!!!"

After the judge called out the victor and after the applause died away, the audience and the rest of the contestants looked on with amusement as a young girl, no more than 13 years of age, prepared to put her lanky 'pet' through his 'victory' paces. The 'pet' in question, who up to this point had been obediently trotting a step behind Integra, looked at his master with eagerness etched on his face. Whining, he had the look of an enthusiastic puppy impatiently wanting to show his master what he can do. Integra began her commands.

"Alucard, come! Sit! Lie down! Good, roll over!! Stand! Now follow me. No, behind me--ALUCARD HEEL!! THAT'S A BAD VAMPYRE!!!" 

A resounding smack could be heard followed by a whimper. Integra had produced a rolled up piece of newspaper and deftly *thwacked* her naughty, but very keen, vampyre on the rump. Alucard (after whimpering) promptly fell back behind her, having learnt his lesson. The crowd cheered on the young mistress, who seemed not to take any notice of the words of encouragement being yelled at her. By the expression on her face, which was deadly serious, the real show was yet to be performed. After making Alucard sit, she fished a medical blood pack from her coat pocket (Alucard gave her a very attentive look) and placed it about 5 yards away from him. 

"Stay!" The girl commanded sternly. Which Alucard did with great effort, his crimson eyes never straying from the blood pack. Several times he looked as if he would bolt for the pack, but one hard glare from his Master dissuaded him and Alucard stayed put. Satisfied, Integra threw him the medical pack, which Alucard happily (and noisily) slurped away. As she patted his shaggy black hair in an approving manner, he purred and rubbed his head against her in adoration while the crowd went wild…

                                                                                                                …and a grown up Integra Wingates Hellsing woke up. _'A **completely obedient** Alucard?!__ What a weird dream.'_ she thought with disbelief. She promptly turned over and tried to go back to sleep, but not before vowing never to smoke a whole box of her Dutch imported cigars before bed.


	4. Royal Protestant Knight's Petshow: Aluca...

**OMAKE:**

**'Royal Protestant Knight's Pet Show: Alucard's Version'**

"And the winner of the Royal Protestant Knight's Pet Show for 2002 is…Ms. Integra Wingates Hellsing and her psychotic vampyre Alucard!!!"

After the judge called out the victor, the audience and the contestants looked on with amusement as a young girl, no more than 13 years of age, was dragging on a silver leash what looked like a gargantuan 'hellhound' that had many eyes covering it's body. The young girl was hollering at the top of her voice for the hellhound to co-operate and follow her; Alucard had dug his heels in the ground, refusing to comply. After many pleas of 'Pretty please Alucard?' (and several medical blood packs later), Integra finally got her 'pet' to collaborate. She then undid the silver leash that kept the vampyre in check, which proved to be unwise; Alucard immediately ran amok.

"Well, um, Ms. Hellsing definitely wins by default then, since the competition is, erm, eliminated. "

Indeed, all of the animals that were Alucard's rivals fell prey to the berserk vampyre, while many were *ahem* shown their place on the food chain. But despite the gory scene that ensued, Alucard's master wasn't angry; she in fact didn't seem to care. Instead, Integra threw her arms around her 'pet' and squealed:

"Awww, did you do that? Did you? Who's a clever vampyre then, hey? That's right, _you're_ a clever vampyre!! Yes you are, yes you are!! Good boy Alucard, you're the best pet a Hellsing could ever have…" 

The many-eyed hellhound thumped his tail on the ground in a happy manner, while Integra handed her 'pet' more blood packs and compliments. Then as a treat for winning, she gave him a present: an 'Anderson-Squeaky-Chew-Toy', which Alucard quickly made short work of. After utterly masticating (chewing) the Catholic miniature, the hellhound began to sniff disdainfully at the no longer squeaking, pathetic, plastic pile on the ground, lifted one hind leg and…

                                    …the vampyre Alucard woke up with a jolt, banging his head on the lid of his coffin. _'GAH!!__ Son of a--! Heh, an Integra that was **fond** of me no matter what I did?!'_ Alucard snorted; that was weird, even by his standards. He rubbed his sore head and tried to go back to sleep. _'Heh heh heh, an 'Anderson-Squeaky-Chew-Toy'…maybe I can persuade Master to get me one…'_


	5. A Typical Night In Hellsing Manor

**OMAKE:**

**A Typical Night In Hellsing Manor…******

Earlier on a typical night in Hellsing Manor, Walter found the last remaining Hellsing dragging her laundry, insisting that _she_ do it when he began to take it from her. When he demanded to know why she's doing _his_ work, Integra blushed and didn't respond. As she walked away Walter distinctly heard her muttering, "I'll catch that thief!!"

Walter shook his head at the incident as he was walking to the Laundry Room to see reason with his mistress. As he turned left into the corridor that leads to the Laundry Room, an ear-piercing shriek was heard followed by colourful curse words. After sprinting the rest of the way there Walter found an ecstatic vampyre walking quickly away from Laundry door. Alucard had locked his screaming and cussing Master inside. Walter stared at him, stunned. HELLSING's resident headache (and now kleptomaniac) had an armful of his Master's panties. 

"Good eve Walter!! Don't you just LOVE 'laundry day'? Here: catch!" 

And so saying he tosses one to Walter.

Alucard moved away happily, almost skipping, singing the chorus of Eminem's "Without Me" (_Now this looks like a job for me, so everybody just follow me, 'cos we need a little controversy, 'cos it feels so empty without me heh heh heh WHOOO!!_) while pitching the panties haphazardly all over the corridor. Walter had caught the garment on reflex but didn't stir to stop the 'Hell Personified' creature (he was still in shock at seeing so many intimate articles; in all his years of being Integra's private servant he never knew she had THOSE). Meanwhile a series of *thumps* from inside the Laundry Room is heard and the door disintegrates as Integra breaks it down with her shoulder (she's THAT mad), her usual cool demeanour forgotten in a rush of blind rage; terrible fury was on her face while she brandished her gun menacingly.

"YOU Fcensored MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A Fcensored PARASITE!! I AM GOING TO--WALTER?! QUICKLY, GIVE ME ALL THE WEAPONS ON YOUR PERSON!!! SECONDLY WHICH WAY DID THAT UNGODLY SON OF A female dog GO?!!!"

Faithful Walter hastily and rather distractedly gave her his three guns, bowie knife, garrottes and special gloves. Though he's still in a blank shock, Hellsing's most loyal retainer begins to blush a lovely shade of lobster red when he realizes that he's been caught holding his mistress' intimate apparel ("Wow, lace?"). But Integra doesn't notice what's in his hands and rushes off in the direction Walter was absentmindedly pointing to. Suddenly remembering something he calls her back.

"Ah, Miss Hel…erm Integra? D'you wish to leave, er…_this_ in my safekeeping?"

Integra goes red as her steward, howls in anger then snatches the offending garment before giving a 'Hellsing War-Cry' ("AAAAAAALUUUUUCAAAARRRD!!!"). She stormed off to do battle, following the 'panty trail' of a soon-to-be dead Undead. 

"What an angry Integra." Walter vaguely murmurs and promptly walks in the opposite direction to her (unconsciously wiping the hand that was holding the lacey garment on his trousers), away from the gunshots, screams of outrage from a VERY peeved Hellsing and the insane, yet extremely pleased laughter of a mad, mad vampyre 

Oh yes just another typical night in Hellsing Manor…


	6. Merry Christmas To You Integra!

**OMAKE:**

**Merry Christmas To You Integra**

Integra is giving a speech to the HELLSING personnel at the insistence of Walter ("Don't argue back Integra, your father did this and so must you!!). So now she was to be found standing on a podium in the Main Hall, surrounded by a sea of faces of celebrating military men, snazzy decorations (courtesy of Celes and Walter), and delicious food. There was also some mistletoe, but Integra was careful to avoid it: she's already had her fair share of mistletoe and the silly custom that goes with the damned plant.

"Ahem, good eve to you all! Before I start my speech, please allow me to first of all commend you for serving Queen and country so admirably and honourably…"

As Integra began her speech, a new comer came to the party. Alucard poked his head from the ceiling, just above the personnel, so that only Integra would be able to see him. Which she could, but the Lady of the House just ignored him.

"…this celebration is the HELLSING Institute's way of saying it's 'Thanks' for your contribution in my family's cause…"

By now Integra could no longer snub the annoying upside down vampyre, who was distracting her by doing silly things on the ceiling. Firstly he waved to Integra, and then he began to blow imaginary kisses, doing cartwheels, running around in circles, basically acting like a hyperactive, attention-seeking kid. All the while laughing quietly to himself at her expression.

He then did the 'climbing up and down the stairs thing': his body gradually disappearing into the ceiling as he pretends to climb an imaginary set of stairs.

"…er, her Royal Highness, the Queen herself, sends her warmest regards, ah, from the Royal House of Windsor, erm…" 

The vampyre was now doing the 'lift' thing. Integra meanwhile is seething with fury; the HELLSING personnel, Walter included, have no idea why she's angry. But the vampyre left after a while, maybe he didn't want to push Integra too far or he grew bored of the game. 

Wrong! 

Alucard left the best for last: a 'Full Monty' show on the ceiling. He returned, sans red coat and inner black jacket and proceeded to undo his tie in a slow and raunchy manner, unbuttoning his shirt, gyrating his hips sexily…

There was uproar in the Hall, one moment the Lady of the House was standing and giving her speech, the next it appeared that she vanished from view.

Apparently Integra fainted.


	7. The Slumber Party Crasher

**OMAKE:**

**'The Slumber Party Crasher'**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!" Came the screams of many young girls. Walter con Dolneaz's head immediately snapped up from his housework, feather duster in hand poised in mid-brush. Then the clumping of a person running was heard coming closer towards him and judging by the sound it was his young charge Integra Wingates Hellsing.

"WALTER!! TELL HIM TO STOP!!" Screeched a 13-year-old Ms. Hellsing who appeared in front of him, dressed in her PJs. She stomped her feet in frustration while Walter politely blinked at her in bewilderment. He had just removed his pink apron he used for housework and was half way through pulling on his special gloves for his garrotte. After deciding that the screams were a possible emergency or dangerous situation (though Walter was pretty sure it was a dangerous situation; he did work for HELLSING after all) he had automatically prepared himself for action.

"I beg you pardon young Miss?" He queried lightly. Though she was but a girl, Integra possessed a magnificent temper that he'd rather not provoke.

"ALUCARD!! HE WAS SNEAKING AROUND MY ROOM AND WAS EVESDROPPING ON MY SLUMBER PARTY!! HE'S RUINING EVERYTHING!! MAKE HIM STOP!!" Integra was in hysterics and she had good reason to: her and her friends were playing 'Truth or Dare' and Integra had chosen 'Truth' rather than the 'Dare' ("Integra, we dare you to go and kiss…"). The 'Truth' question was "Who do you like?" asked in a typical 13-year-old immature curiosity, which Integra sheepishly refused to answer. Much to her horror, Alucard was listening in on the 'girl chat' and appeared from the wall to divulge information about his 'Master' (including who she liked). But rather than be gleeful at the chance of gossip the young lasses screamed instead, for Alucard was using the guise a hellhound. 

Now as the young mistress of HELLSING and her butler were talking, more screams from the frantic little girls were heard followed by the maniacal whooping laughter of a mad vampyre. Integra looked imploringly at Walter. Walter smiled warmly in return, monocle flashing.

"Of course young Miss. I'll take care of him, don't you worry. Besides, he's been avoiding me all night and I have to give him something…"

That same night, from the balcony of her bedroom, Integra and her 'gal pals' giggled with glee and pointed at the sulking vampyre in his hellhound form, with many eyes covering his body and ears flat upon his skull. He was tied outside to a post by a silver leash. As Walter approached him with a bucket, hose and a bottle of 'FREAK Brand: Flea Shampoo' in his hands, the hellhound's tail tucked between his legs at the oncoming prospect of a bath…


	8. Battle For The Title Of BishiGami And Th...

**OMAKE:**

**Battle**** for the Title of 'Bishi-Gami' and the Deal!!**

"You damned fool! May I remind you that you are _technically_ an _old man_, while _I _will forever retain my stunning bishi looks? So that makes _me _HELLSING's 'God of Bishi'!!"

"Alucard, you're nothing more than HELLSING's resident bitch and Integra's whipping boy. _I_ am HELLSING's 'Bishi-Gami', whether old or young. Accept it!"

Both 'Bishi Gods' whipped out their weapons; Alucard had his _Cassul_ aimed squarely at young Walter's forehead while the latter had his garrottes around the vampyre's entire body, including his gun too.

"Boys," said the author amiably, rushing up to separate them before they could mar those striking bishi features, "You're both HELLSING's 'Gods of Bishi' or 'Bishi-Gami' or whatever you title you wish. Now put away those lovely weapons of carnage and follow me, my scrumptious Undead slaying hotties… "

This time both 'Bishi-Gamis' gave a very creeped-out look to Angie. Who shrugged, grabbed both by the hand and proceeded dragging a kicking and screaming Alucard and young Walter towards her bedroom…

"OI!!" Growled a voice. They all turned around: a fuming Integra stood before them. Alucard and young Walter looked relieved at the sudden turn of events, while the author sighed at her miserable luck. "WHAT THE HELL(SING) DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! THEY BELONG TO THE LADY OF THE HOUSE: ME!!"

"Oh don't be a greedy-guts 'Gra!" Protested Angie mightily. "Alright here: have Alucard. He can give you another stimulating bath time. You really seem to need it."

A pause.

"Hmmn, that's true. Alright then: I keep Alucard." Young Walter began to show signs of panic; Alucard was grinning triumphantly. "But _he_ can't make a decent cup of tea like Walter can!"

"Okay, okay, FINE! Monday to Wednesday: you have Walter and I have Alucard. Thursday to Saturday we swap. Sundays we halve the day: Saturday midnight to Sunday noon Alucard's with me and you can have Walter. Sunday noon to midnight Monday we swap again. You follow me?" Nods all around. "Good. Now whaddya say, 'Gra? We got a deal? _Yay_ or _Nay_?"

"Deal." And both ladies shook the other's hand. Now being a Saturday, Integra led (an eager) Alucard to her stately bathroom. Which left young Walter with the author, who gave him a shy smile. Walter shrugged (he seemed resigned to his fate), smiled wickedly back at her as he picked Angie up and sprinted to her bedroom…


	9. NO Pets On The Bed Integral!

**OMAKE:**

**'NO Pets On The Bed Integra'**

11:43 pm. 13 year-old Integral Fairbrooks Wingates Hellsing was sleeping peacefully in her bedroom when the sudden presence of something wet and soft poked her right cheek. Immediately she awoke, eyes searching for what woke her up. And she came face to face with a indistinct black fuzzy outline, but even in the darkness she could make out sharp fangs, grizzly muzzle, a long snout and six maniacal crimson eyes. The hellhound shifted itself from his current looming position over Integral (his nose being the wet and soft thing that poked Integral awake; the hellhound had been sniffing his slumbering Master), allowing the young HELLSING director to get a good look at what woke her up. 

"Alucard? What are you doing here?"

The hellhound didn't say anything in reply, but blinked at her weirdly; the six red eyes weren't opening and closing in unison. Young Integra raised herself up to glare at the hellhound, who cowered a bit. Alucard still didn't say anything, but Integral got an inkling that he wanted to stay in her room for the night, similar to what your pet does to you. But she could be wrong.

"Did, did you want to speak to me about something? No? Er, well, was there anything you wanted? No as well?"

She couldn't dismiss him, and tell him to go back to his cramped and cold coffin. And espcially not after the way he was looking at her. Ah well, Integral is only a little lady here and not yet the _Woman of Steel as we all know and love, and what are pets for?_

"Uhm, well then I guess you could stay here after all. Just be back to your coffin by dawn: Walter will be livid if he catches you here."

The hellhound's tail began to wag in a joyful manner, while its ears perked up. Then he began to look for a suitable spot on the floor beside her bed. He settled himself on the rug before her wardrobe, but every now and then he would steal longing glances at Integra and her spacious bed, all the while sighing in a wistful fashion. 

Finally…

"Oh alright! Fine!! You can stay on the bed!!" 

The young HELLSING heir scooted over her bed to make space for the vampyre, while the hellhound's tail began to resemble an outboard motor as he picked himself up and bounded towards his Master. He effortlessly jumped on the bed and proceeded to make himself comfortable, sniffing around, testing which portion of the mattress was lumpy or soft, making the little circles that dogs always do before they lie down, before finally choosing a position near the pillows. The hellhound flopped down in a silly fashion, causing Integra to giggle.

The hellhound was…hideous. There was no other word for it, what with the abnormally long teeth for a dog, aberrant size and let's not forget the six red eyes. Granted the fact that it was a _hellhound and not __exactly of the canine family, still, a good number of your average furred and four legged pets have at least some cuteness factor. _

But despite his lack of charm and that Integra's pet dwarfed her by several pounds and possessed a brilliant set of wicked looking teeth, she still moved closer to Alucard, seemingly forgetting that lying on the bed beside her was not a dog or a dog-like creature, but the 'No Life King' himself, a master Undead, a creature of the Dark and capable of killing her in a moment's whim. Integra patted his head gently, while the hellhound's eyes became half lidded with content and suddenly a deep rumbling sound began emanating from him. The teenager giggled even more.

"Alucard, dogs don't _purr. __Cats do."_

The hellhound opened one eye fully at his Master and gave a _"So what?" snort. The young girl, sorry, __lady laughed softly in return and started to pat his furry body, liking the feel of his coat (it was surprisingly silky to the touch). She continued petting her 'pet' for a few more minutes, finally stopping because Alucard's purring was lulling her to back to sleep._

"Good night Alucard." The young mistress of HELLSING murmured sleepily after making herself comfortable near him, closing her blue eyes and flinging an arm around his large shaggy neck. The vampyre gave a quiet _'Woof' in return. _

The next morning at seven am, good old Walter knocked gently on Integra's bedroom door to wake her up. Opening the door a fraction, his green eyes widened a mile when the image of a black furry_ thing on his charge's bed met them. Among the inky blackness of Alucard's pelt, Walter noted wisps of platinum blonde hair. He rushed up to her bed to make sure Integra was alright, making a note to craft a sturdy silver leash large enough for a lion, as well as fettering the hellhound with said leash every night. Of course, Walter would have all these ideas completed __after he suitably 'scolded' the Undead pet. He stepped closer to inspect the vampyre. _

The hellhound was curled up around a teenaged Integra in a protective fashion. 

Walter, despite his earlier sentiments of kicking Alucard's ass then and there, relaxed and smiled. At least the two are getting along well, and that the both of them are beginning to show respect and trust for/in the other. _Now if there were some way to gauge the vampyre's loyalty…The butler pocketed his garrottes and stepped back towards the bedroom door; he knew that he should get rid of the Master vampyre and keep him from visiting Integral late at night, but for some reason Walter also knew that she was safe with him and that waking them up now was not a good idea. He gave one last glance at the two and, as he shut the door, Walter thought:_

_Och, may as well let them sleep in; it's a Sunday after all…_

**Author's Drivel: By now many of my reviewers have noticed that my OMAKES are usually at the Lady of the House's expense. But please be reassured that I didn't do this on purpose and that I am not an Integra basher!! *runs away from angry mob of Integra fans* The reason why I wrote them as such is because I see the OMAKES thru Alucard's eyes. Every AxI fan knows that Alucard digs Integra something chronic, but by annoying her, pissing her off etc is how I think the Master vampyre would show his affections to his Master. **

_This OMAKE is just a reassurance to others (and myself) that Alucard does genuinely care for the Lady of the House (after all, WHY did he want to stay near Integra?!), and vice versa though Integra may deny it. It also shows a younger, more carefree Integra and the beginning of their bond._


End file.
